


Winter Cicatrix

by asmodeusry



Series: The Seasons [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, How Do I Tag, M/M, Medical, Unbeta-ed, what else is there to tag?, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 17:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19404895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmodeusry/pseuds/asmodeusry
Summary: And even if I die, remember this line.I'm always here... guarding your life.





	Winter Cicatrix

**Author's Note:**

> Ooof third chapter lmao. The summary practically scream the flag haha. Oh well. I'll just hide /bye

**Three years later...**

It’s so cold that he can see smoke when he breathe. He was making his way through the busy road of Shibuya going to the hospital where he currently work. It’s been 3 years since he received that letter from Takao. He knew that what he did years ago was unacceptable. Midorima didn’t even give him a proper explanation and they didn’t even get the closure that they both wanted. I thought that... this is better. Telling him my reason would be ridiculous after all those years. He won’t accept, I know. But I loved- love him, damn it. With every breath I take, I do… until now. And everything's a jumbled mess and it’s beyond repair now.

Midorima reach the hospital and as he was taking a turn, there was a buzz going on. _What’s happening?_ He walk past all the people making ruckus and went directly to the nurse’s station. “What’s going on?” I asked. “Ah, Dr. Midorima! There's one patient whose gasping for air!” It's **code**. Before I could ask what’s the patient’s name, the nurse left to attend to it. I look for the chart if I can get anything. Ah, there’s a kardex. The patient’s name is… huh? My eyesight must be getting bad. Takao Kazunari? What is Takao doing here? But right now, there's an emergency and the room number was... 217. I dash and went to the room. Upon arriving, I saw a blur of action. People going in and out of the room, some shouting to bring the equipment, nurses stabilizing the patient going into cardiac arrest. I scan the room trying to focus on what's needed to be done but there is one patient who caught my eyes. _'And I thought this was a private room.'_ He seems unaffected by it all. Black hair, average physical body and such a sharp eyes. _'Just like him.'_ I wouldn't think of him as someone who's ill if not for the IV inserted at his right hand. And I don't want to think that he has an illness.

* * *

**_'I love you... and I'm sorry,_** _he whispered. And started walking towards a stairs, but he turned a bit and called my name-'_ I woke up startled and confused. What was that? And _WHO_ was it? That's a first for so many years. Since I won't be getting any sleep so might as well get ready for wo--

Ring! Ring!

Midorima pick up his phone, "Hello?"

"Ah, Midorima? Morning. This is Miyaji. Will you be available for some little reunion today?" He asked.

"Miyaji-san. It's nice to hear from you. About today, I'll see if I can get off from work early." I told him. It would be nice to see my old teammates and _'to see him'_.

"Great! I'll text ya about where and the time. See you later then. " and he hang up

* * *

As I do my round that afternoon, my mind went back to the guy yesterday. Was that him or I'm just seeing things because of being exhausted? Yes, that must be it. There's no way he will be here. He's too optimistic and even if he had an illness, he'll kick it to the curb and be well again. ' _Ah, It's almost time'_

I leave the hospital at around 7 in the evening and hail a taxi to drive me to where our little reunion is.

I was about to open the door and greet them a good evening, but what I saw was people being drunk or dead, literally, in an apartment not far from our old school.

"Ah, there he is! Hey Midorima! H-here!" Miyaji-san waved where he was sitting with a beer in his hand. He's slurring, definitely drunk.

"Hey glad you could make it. Now sit. Want some beer?" Miyaji-san stood up to get a beer from the refrigerator but he's terribly swaying and before he can acquire concussion, I get up instead and take a beer from the fridge and help him to sit.

"Midorima! It's nice to see you. When was the last time I've seen you? Ah, your wedding, right? How's your wife? Doing well?" Ootsubo-san asked me before sitting at the couch opposite from us

"She's good and it's nice seeing you again, Ootsubo-san", I replied. And I greet everyone present in the room, even tried to make me play their ridiculous game they started, however I didn't see him. _Where is he?_

"Midori~ma" I look back to where I left Miyaji-san and join him, though I'm not sure if he's still coherent.

"Miyaji-san. Maybe you should stop drinking now. Look at you, you can't even walk properly" I told him, trying to remove the can of beer in his hand.

"Nonsense! Don't be a killjoy, alright? Have fun! You're working way too seriously unlike that guy" he muttered

"Where's Takao? I thought he'll be the first person to make a mess here" I ask, trying not to sound guilty.

"Aah, Takao. Where the hell is he, anyway? I don't have any news on him. He just suddenly--"Ack! Ugh.

"Are you alright? I'll get you water. Stay still" I went into the kitchen and pour some water for Miyaji-san. What does he mean he doesn't have anything on Takao?

I walk back to the living room and give the water to Miyaji-san. He drink it in just 4 gulp.

"Ah, refreshing." he burped,

"What do you mean you don't have any news on Takao?" I ask seriously.

"Oh. I don't know. One day, he just left without telling me where he is going. And I specifically told him to contact me or anyone from the team if he ever arrived safe to God knows where he is supposed to be. That's all I know." and he get another beer from the center table.

That left me pondering as to where Takao right now. Is he somewhere in the area? Or is he... out of the country?

The party ended at around 11pm and they still want to go to some bar but I declined for I still have work tomorrow. As I walk back home in this chilly night, I kept thinking that maybe this is a punishment of sort. No. It's no use thinking about the past. All I can do is do what I can now in the present.

* * *

"Good morning, Dr. Midorima" a neurologist greet me.

"Good morning as well, Dr. Kawashima" I greet him back while scanning through a patient's chart. _'This patient needs an antibiotics and I need his complete labor-'_

"How's your patient? The one that is postoperative? He asked .

"Ah, yes. He's doing well this past two days but now, he suddenly broke out of an infection and I need to see his laboratory results" I told him when in fact, he's looking like he don't care. Why ask when you aren't interested? Idiot.

"Ah, I see. You see I have this one patient who have a rare disease. The sign and symptoms are just the general but it's spreading way too quickly and that he won't even accept any surgery. Well, as his doctor, I respected his decision. But if I were him, I'd at least try the surgery and it might save him. Ah, that's right. Why don't you visit him on your round? Although sometimes he went into relapsing and been in and out of the ICU, after a day he would be back to his room. I'm concerned now on how far the disease spread in his body. Perhaps you can give me your input and can convince him to take the surgery" Dr. Kawashima told me and he pat me on the shoulder and went ahead to do his morning round.

"Dr. Kawashima!" I run after him and asked him about his patient and the room. "And maybe I can take a look at his chart?" I asked

"Ah, of course! How silly of me not telling you about it. It's Room 106 and you can get his chart from the station. See you." He walks away completely and I went my way as well.

After I've done my round, I set off to take a look at Dr. Kawashima's patient's chart at the station.

Where is it? Ah, here. 106. Let's see the diagnosis and... what?

I went straight and fast to his room to confirm what I read.

And there he was, looking out the window with a calm expression on his face. How can you have that? _Takao_.

I wasn't prepared for this, I thought to myself. I never thought that I would see him here in flesh. And in this condition. All along, it was not because I was tired that day but this is it. Reality. _Our reality._

* * *

Takao was startled when the door to his room opened. _A doctor?_ His doctor was just here half an hour ago. What is it now?

"Hey, doctor. Maybe you should come in?" He was amused by the man near the door. Why won't he come in if he got something to say, yes?

The doctor now opened the door widely and went inside. Takao stared. He stared long enough to realised that he was now looking at the love of his life...again.

He never wished upon the stars that he will meet him now, not in this condition but alas, fate decided to intervene right at this time. _Heh, fate does take a liking to me, don't you think so, Shin-chan?_ Takao smiled painfully inside but he won't show it to him. Not now.

"Oh! It's been a while, huh?" _And look at you, you've work really hard to achieved where you are now. I'm proud of you. I've always been._

"Takao. I know this isn't the right time but I'm sor--" Takao laughed out loud. Midorima was baffled by his reaction. What's funny in this situation?

"C'mon, Shin-chan! What are you gonna apologized for? I'm a patient and you'll apologize? They might think you've done a great damage to me," he chuckled softly "Let just forget everything that's happened. It's all in the past anyway. Now, why don't you tell what have you been up to?" _I know what you're gonna apologized for and it's okay. I already forgave you long ago and I've been thinking that I was such a fool to think that we'll always be together. Everything happens for a reason, right? It's inevitable._

* * *

Everyday, they talk before Midorima left for the day. He won't allow Takao to be alone. Not this time. He needs me now more than ever and what did I do all these years? I abandoned him. I'm absolutely a coward. I let what people called the norms in a relationship, of what the society would think of us and not what I really wanted. But now, I'll do what I can to save him.

It's a Saturday and on his day off from work but instead of staying home resting like he always do, he decided to go to the hospital. I should get something for Takao.

"Shintarou?" my wife called me from the kitchen. She's cooking for her visitors later.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Would you mind staying for a little bit before you go?" She asked.

"...Of course. I'll be in the garden. " I told her before I left.

* * *

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked her while trying to think of what we would be talking about right now.

"Did you get into trouble at your work?" I looked at her worried

"No. It's nothing of the sort. I just want to... " she hesitated. "Shintarou. I know that you've met him again. And I... " she started sniffing and now her tears suddenly pour out and that surprised me.

I move my chair near her to comfort her. _Him_... she's talking about Takao? But how?

"I went to the hospital last Wednesday to tell you that I'll be going back to the US. There's an offer for me to work on a big research project and I want you to come with me." she told me, wiping away her tears with her hanky. "And when I was about to called you over, you suddenly went away and I don't know where you go so I asked the nurse and they led me to the room. I saw the name and thought, _'Isn't he Shintarou's best friend?'_ The door was agaped and I just peeked inside because I don't want to disturbed your time with him but right at that moment, I saw how truly happy you are from the bottom of your heart. I never saw you smiled like that since our wedding. It was as if you're trying to visualized your future with me and you tried honestly, but you can't and won't forget. You... you love him, don't you?" she looked me in the eyes with an expression I can't understand

_What?_ That shocked me. Her perceptiveness is what I can call her biggest strength and I can't believed she asked me that. I'm utterly speechless.

"I..." I'm still in disbelief and how am I supposed to answer that? She's my wife, goddamn it.

"No need to deny it, Shintarou-san. Just tell me what you truly feel. Alright?" she smiled albeit a forced one.

I sighed heavily. _'What a fool am I. Here I was, telling my wife that everything is okay. But...'_ Silence. And then I begin telling her what I felt, "Yes, I love him. And I am the biggest idiot there is for leaving him and everything is a mess now. He won't even listen to my reasons." I told her, hold her hands and looked directly into her eyes. "Aina, I'm truly sorry. I know that I've done enough damage; a really terrible mess and... I don't know how to fix this. I'm so sorry." I looked down. I can't keep looking in her eyes to see the betrayal and sadness that I planted there. I don't know if I can keep my composure still. All these years, she only love me and what did I do? I've hurt her.

Her cold hand reached out to me and she touched my face. I looked   
up and she had a sad smile but her eyes are showing relief. Was she relieved of what I told her?

"I'm glad. I'm so glad, dear. I've been worried about you. Thank you for telling me this, Shintarou." She kissed my forehead and there was a droplet of tears that I felt on my face.

I hugged her instead and kept whispering _'I'm sorry'_ and 'Thank _you's'_ to her. She was glad that I've told her what I've been trying to hide inside me all these years. It's like a big burden was lifted from my shoulders.

She then removed herself from my grasp and said "Now that it's out of the way, you should go. We'll talk about the important things at a later time. Do tell Takao-san to get well soon for me" And with that, she goes back inside the house to do some chores.

* * *

"Hey Shin-chan!" Takao greet Midorima with a big smile plastered on his face. Same as ever.

"How are you doing? You didn't try getting out of your room again, did you?" I asked while fixing him a glare.

This guy once tried to sneak out of the hospital and unfortunately for him, I was on my way out when he bumped into me. Instead of going back, he dragged me to a basketball court. It was full moon that time and I guess, playing one game wasn't that bad. However, Takao told me he want to see my shooting skills again. So I complied to it. I wouldn't let him play as his body is quite weak to even run in the court. I don't want him to sustained further injury, is all.

After that, I brought him back to the hospital whilst scolding him not to do it or else the hospital will throw a huge fit if they found out that one of their patient went missing.

He just laughed at me and said, _"I don't care. I'm happy to see your play. I missed your basketball play a lot, Shin-chan. Let me play next time!"_ And he waved at me before going inside the room.

"Of course not! You would throw a fit if you didn't find me here, don't you? He chuckle and tease me. _'A music to my ear. His laugh and teasing voice'_ Not that I would tell him that.

"Hmph. I won't do such stupid things _nanodayo_ " I replied

And he bursts into a laughing fit and there's a tears coming out of his eyes. He's enjoying this, aren't he?

Takao told me that I reverted back to my old habit of talking. And that's a truth. Only he can make me do that.

We talk a lots of things. How's the rest of the team doing, where they're now, some random topics popping up here and there. Just like the old days. _'Ah, I remembered.'_

"Hey. I forgot to ask you this, but Dr. Kawashima told me that you won't agree to undergo any surgery. Why?" I asked him. There's nothing wrong with doing it, right?

"Ah, that. Well... I thought why should I get one? I mean, I know that my illness is irreversible so why should I? And I'll leave the hospital soon." He told me.

"Don't say that. There's still a chance that the surgery will be successful. So please agree to it. ' _And don't leave me'_. I beg him. I'll do whatever I can to make the surgery a success.

"Mhmm. Give me time to think. " His eyes were blank. I don't even know what he's thinking anymore. I sigh.

And I told him what happened with Aina before I went to visit him. He was surprised, yes and he tried to reasoned out with me that what I'm gonna do is break everything I tried to make it works 'till now. And I told him that it already happened. I exchanged what I wanted all my life for what is right. For the society and what's the norms in the world. And I wasn't exactly happy with it.

I bid him goodbye and told him I'll be on duty tomorrow and he should rest now.

* * *

It was nearing lunch when Dr. Kawashima called me for a short talk.

We went to the break room and talk about whatever he needs to tell me over a cup of coffee.

"Dr. Midorima. I would like to talk about Takao-san's progress since you've given me your thought about the disease and we research more for another alternative treatment for it however, it saddened me to tell you that there isn't and his disease is worsening as we speak. I'm doing all that I can though." Dr. Kawashima sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

I take my cup of coffee and sip a bit. Now what? What else can we do? We research things that may help Takao live longer. But this information took the life out of me. For the second time around, I felt like the biggest fool ever. I can't even help him. _My light_.

That afternoon, I went to Takao's room but he isn't in his room. _Where is he?_

I ask the nurses at the station and told me they've put him in the ICU. _What the hell happened?!_ I run from the 3rd floor to the 1st floor and turn left so I can be in the ICU faster.

I'm huffing so hard from running but I don't care. I need to see him! I look through the glass of one of the ICU room and saw him lying on the bed, unconscious with a breathing apparatus and a set of tubes attach to his skin. He looks awfully... dead.

No! That's too much. _Don't think any worse scenario, Shintarou. Just don't._ I kept telling myself this but it's making me anxious. This is one of the most frightening scene I've seen. I can't keep looking at it. I turned around -- silently praying that he'll be back in his room and when I open the door, there he is with his goofy smile and happy way of greeting me. _'Please God, don't take him away from me. Give my light back to me.'_

~★~

Tossing, turning onto his back. Onto his stomach. No matter what he tried, the scene kept replaying in his mind. He replayed what Dr. Kawashima told him.

_"... we research more for another alternative treatment for it however, it saddened me to tell you that there isn't and his disease is worsening as we speak. I'm doing all that I can though."_ It's been repeating on his head ever since he left the hospital. He would've stayed there but he had a major surgery tomorrow but he told Takao's mother that he'll visit tomorrow after his surgery.

Please be alright, Takao. I still have a lot of things to say and we'll play basketball, right? Kick your illness away.

* * *

"Forceps" i put out my non dominant hand to receive the next tools. _'This procedure is taking too long. What's with the scrub nurse?'_   
"Suturing now the third level of the abdominal skin. Start counting." I told my team and I focus on doing my job so it won't leave any complications afterward.

After 2 hours, we're finally done. I've let the nurse undo my gown and I start checking the patient's chart for notes.

"I'll take my leave now." I told them.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Midorima!"   
I left the Theater 1 in a hurry and went directly to Takao's room. _'Be there, please.'_

I open the door way too quickly that I thought the door hinges would come off. Before I enter the room, I close my eyes and count to three. And when I open them...

He is there with a oxygen mask on his face. His respiratory rate is still unstable however something is telling me that there is something wrong. A really dreadful one.

I walk to his side and take a look at his physical assessment. He's pale as a white sheet, his lips is turning into blue color and his fingerbed is turning purple.

"Takao" I softly called him. "Open your eyes, please"

Takao's heavy eyes opened slowly and he takes a minute to focus his eyes on me.

"-in-chan" he tried speaking through the mask.

"Come on, Takao. You're stronger than this. We still have a trip to make, right?" I wasn't aware that my tears were now falling, "I... haven't done anything for y-you" I choked. I can't control this anymore. His whole body is shaking and burning. He was struggling to talk more through his tears but just can't.

Takao remove his mask, "S-hin-chan. Hey don't cry. Doesn't suit you in the least." Takao tried to smile.

"Shhh. No more talking. Put your mask back." I tried putting his mask back but he held my hands.

"Shin-chan," he takes a deep breath however ragged it is and continue, "You know I agreed to undergo the surgery but I guess it won't happen now" he cough.

"No, no. You'll undergo it and... don't you die on me. Takao!" He shook his head. "I won't accept this. You're still going to undergo the surgery and you'll recover!" I yelled

Takao lift up his right hand and touched Midorima's face. "You know, I never thought I'd meet you again ," he coughed, "I knew this would happen" he sadly smiled at Midorima. "Shin-chan... I won't be able to keep my promise. You know you're so selfish and I always do what you want but not this time." He looked at me like it'll be the last time, and smiled "I love you... and I'm sorry." And he closed his eyes as if he'll just go to sleep.

"No! Takao! Hey! Keep your eyes open!" I shook his shoulder but he's not responding. I tried getting all his vitals but felt none. I pushed the emergency button and now my tears won't stop

I slumped to the floor. Why? You told me you won't leave. I tried standing up though shakily and moved my face near his face and kiss his forehead, his nose and his bluish lips tenderly. And I cried my heart out while holding his hands.

**_Goodbye my love... It's been a long years. See you again._ **

_~And if I die, remember this line, I'm always here... guarding your life... guarding your life. ~_

> _'Hey Shin-chan. I'm glad to have met you. It had been fun. Thank you for everything. Until we meet again'_

**Author's Note:**

> Are you alive? Or are you going to have a violent reactions? Haha
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading this far. Is this the ending? 
> 
> Who knows. I need a closure for this too. We'll see~


End file.
